[parallel universe] Re: [TriLUG] microsoft story

[Sinner from the Prairy]

>From: acoliver <acoliver at nc.rr.com>

>http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/134363780_microsoft08.html

>Microsoft comments on opensource and talks about how it wants to be your
>friend for now on (but that opensource will still put everyone out of a job
>and stiffle "innovation" of course...god they're so dern innovative at
>Microsoft it makes me want to go rent Village of the Dammed and watch
>innovation over and over)

>-Andy

Really?

I interpret in this other way:

BALLMER: After 20 years of backstabing, copying other's innovations, playing 
Mafia-games with IT companies, abusing our consumers and stealing children's 
bubblegum, we have gotten a slap on the wrist by the DoJ. Surely this means 
something.

GATES: If I might add a few words...

BALLMER:, Sure, Bill, go on.

GATES: Our impressive innovation Laboratories -MS-iLabs , (c) (R) - show 
that actualy being nice to customers can help selling our product...

AUDIENCE: (gasps, mutted comments of surprise, a few horror screams)

BALLMER: Be quiet back there! It is true! You can get the results in ExcelXP 
format at dubya-dubya-dubya-microsoft-dot-com-slash-ilabs-slash-results

GATES: In fact, in a demo-test carried over at Poukeespie-upon-Avon 
(Yorkshire, UK) with a cautive population, we discovered that WindowsXP-SE 
was being bought by people that had no history of verbal-and-phisycal abuse 
by part of our marketing representatives.

SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE: Don't you think that having both legs not-broken 
could help? I mean, last year, in the ASF file that you showed us about 
training methods for Microsoft Certified Marketing Representatives , they 
were being trained in "MS-Leg-Breaking-As-A-Buying-Stimulous 101". Maybe we 
should change this module to "MS-**ARM-TWISTING**-As-A-Buying-Stimulous 101" 
instead of playing nice...

AUDIENCE: Yeah! yeah! that sounds more sensible!

GATES: Please! Calm down! I personally worked with the MS-iLabs environment 
definition and I can assure you that the results are true!

AUDIENCE: but... but.... We Want Blood! We Want Blood! We Want Blood!

CATS: All Your Base Are Belong To Us!

CATS: Make Your Time!

BILL: HAHAHAHA

BALMER: Take Off Every ZiggyXP!!!!

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