[TriLUG] a little morning humor

[Igor Partola]

Three best ones I know:

Milk production at a dairy farm was low, so the farmer wrote to the local
university, asking for help from academia. A multidisciplinary team of
professors was assembled, headed by a theoretical physicist, and two weeks
of intensive on-site investigation took place. The scholars then returned
to the university, notebooks crammed with data, where the task of writing
the report was left to the team leader. Shortly thereafter the physicist
returned to the farm, saying to the farmer "I have the solution, but it
only works in the case of spherical cows in a vacuum."

What's the difference between an introvert and an extrovert mathematician?
An extrovert mathematician looks at YOUR shoes.

A physicist goes into an ice cream parlor every week. He always orders an
ice cream sundae and offers one to the empty stool next to him. One day the
owner asks, "Why do you do that?" The physicist replies, "Quantum Mechanics
teaches us that there is a chance that the matter above this stool will
spontaneously transform into a beautiful woman who will accept my offer of
an ice cream and fall in love with me". The owner says, "We have beautiful
women come in here all the time. Why don't you offer one of them an ice
cream and maybe she'll fall in love with you". And the physicist replies,
"Yeah, but what are the odds of THAT happening?"

Also, there is this:
http://james-iry.blogspot.com/2009/05/brief-incomplete-and-mostly-wrong.html

Sorry if these are too dated...